Opened eyes, Broken hearts

...Open up my eyes to the things unseen...Show me how to love like You have loved me...Break my heart for what breaks Yours everything I have for Your Kingdoms cause... This early morning, before the sun had made its mark on a new day, I sat next to a man...a man who was covered in a thick film of dirt and grease...unattractive to the world...a man no one desired to sit next to. He sat in the Starbucks going through thrown out newspapers, collecting all the coupons he could find. And there beside him I sat well kept and well dressed going through my Bible reading about a hope that does not disappoint and a God of justice and righteousness. As people walked past us I felt their eyes looking at us both - a young woman and an old man, side by side, different worlds, both seeking...what a contrast. As I sat there next to him my heart grew for him...I didn't know him, nor his story...but I was moved and I wanted him to know that there is someone who cares...me in myself, no!...Christ in me, yes! I got up because I felt led to put some money on a gift card so that he could choose what he wanted for breakfast. I wrote one line of encouragement, praying that he would know the message and the heart behind it...I handed it to him and he thanked me in a quiet voice without looking up, and as I walked away I genuinely prayed a blessing over that man. I may never see him again, but he has not left my thoughts or my prayers and the Lord was and is using him in my life...lifting the mirrored glasses from my eyes causing me to see beyond myself...I live in a lost sad world and the reality of that presses hard upon my heart, I have numbed myself for too long, and the brokenness and heartache is setting in. As Christians we have been given a wonderful invitation - a blessing - that we can go freely before His throne...the veil was torn. He beckons us to come! But do we? I know for the longest time I wouldn't...and even if I turned in that direction from a distance I would pray for myself ~ never fully entering in...never fully humble nor vulnerable. This is something I struggle with every day and will continue to be a battle for the rest of my life...because this is a battle field friends! How are we equipping ourselves? Are we putting on truth, righteousness, the gospel of peace, salvation, and the spirit? WE DO NOT WRESTLE AGAINST FLESH AND BLOOD! We are called to be serious and watchful in our prayers and He promises to meet us. I started a prayer group because I desire that accountability to remain steadfast and to fight and endure in prayer...to draw closer to the throne of my God to climb up on my Fathers lap and feel His heart beat...Oh how deeply He loves us! So deeply that when just one of us is lost His broken heart pursues us to the end. I desire that my heart will break for what breaks His...which is no where close to an easy prayer to pray because He says what you ask that He will do that He may be glorified...and the floodgates will open and knock you off your feet and onto your face. As Elijah prayed "Lord God...let it be known this day that You are God. Hear me, O Lord, hear me that the people may know that You are God, and that You have turned their hearts back to You again. May we be praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance...and may He open our mouths boldly to proclaim His gospel of truth. Because the effective, FERVENT prayer of the righteous man avails much! Do NOT loose heart and anticipate to see God move! God give us hearts of expectation and urgency. We are summoned by the King, lifted by a Savior, and carried into the Masters courts.

Unraveled

If only…two words when put together can create such great weight…”If only I could feel completely myself…I see different parts of me in the different places and people I am with.” “If only I could make it past this season in my life, the next season will be so much better.” “If only I could have a job that makes me happy.” “If only someone loved me.” And the list that follows “If only” could continue on and on and on…but why do we place contentment as the end result of this list? If contentment lay solely at the end of all the “If only’s”, my dear friend I must in truth tell you, you may never find it. Though you may check some of those things off your list as soon as they seem complete…another soon will pop right back on, and thus becomes a vicious cycle. Contentment in the world is fleeting; if you try to find contentment there you will spend the rest of your life chasing after the wind. We all long to be content and we may daily try to master being in this state. All the minutes, and all the hours, and all the days I have tried to find it…I would continue to fail. Until the moment I realize (and this moment is actually continual moments) the only thing I can honestly grasp onto in my life is who I am in Christ and who He is to me…the moment He becomes my EVERYTHING, will be the moment I truly know contentment. It erases all those “If onlys” and replaces them with “In Christ” because it is in Christ alone that we may find contentment…Our CONSTANT contentment. Your life may seem unraveled, but dear friend you may just be out on the line needing to be pulled back in - to be wound tightly around Him…for of Him and through Him and to Him are ALL things! You are not alone and He who began a good work in you is faithful to complete it! In His love Anna

Hosea 2

He has my heart on a string...I married Him...unraveled I ran away...adorning myself to seduce a hungry world...I tempt and tease...driven by my own glory...and then I feel His tug...the more I resist the tighter the pull - the more the pain...so I give in a bit letting Him have a little more of me enough to satisfy Him for the time being and when He seems unaware I will run again...Back to my lovers who I want...but that pull - that hold He has on me won't allow me to get that far...GOD LET ME GO!..I resist to the point that it hurts so bad...I feel like this string will never snap, but cause me to break and bleed within...He loves me too much He builds a wall He traps me in with a hedge of thorns...GOD LET ME GO!..He pulled me in and stripped me of everything I had MY grain, MY wine, MY wool, MY linen - now I am naked...He won't let anyone else have me...doesn't He get it I don't want Him...I will not stop fighting to get away...even if His love is a stronghold on me...I will FORGET Him - I want to forget Him. I married her despite her desire for other lovers...I am drawn to her...I will allure her from the wilderness she wanders I will draw her into comfort and provide for her...I will clothe her and fill her glass until it overflows...I will sit her at my banquet table and the banner over her will be love...I will give her her own vineyard to prosper and grow in - a place she can sing, dance, and remember the times of her youth...and I will be her Husband and I will make her my wife...I will establish a sacred covenant with her...I will betroth her to Me FOREVER yes I will betroth her to Me in righteousness and justice, in lovingkindness, and mercy...I will betroth her to me in faithfulness...I WILL NEVER STOP PERSUING HER! She is My beloved and I am her Husband.

Job moments - Being a faithful servant

When I think of the book of Job I think of words like despair, loss, trials...but Job's story is really that of strength, boldness, and grace. Job was a God-fearing man and there was none like him. He was a man of great wealth and prosperity, however, his family did not walk in the same way - they were wicked in mind and action. Job's faith was unshakeable because it was built upon his confidence that God's ultimate purpose will come to pass. What did it look like to be blameless before God? Job set a godly example as a father, praying for purification for his children. Job was a godly spiritual leader of his household and had a heart of devotion. All this was a winning combination for him to be the perfect target for Satan because he walked blameless and upright in the sight of the Lord. So why wouldn't we who have chosen to serve God with our lives and have a heart of devotion towards God not also be susceptible to attacks. As many believe Satan is the opposite to God, they are wrongly mistaken, Satan was a created being by God, he does not have free reign, God is still over him and limits him as to what he can do. In Job 1:6-12 We see Satan is still accountable to God, we have a God who is omnipresent, but Satan can only be in one place at one time...and as a created being he cannot read our thoughts or foretell our futures. Unfortunately many Christians believe in these lies and so live in fear, but haven't they heard He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world? (1 John 4:4) Believe on this! Job is a model of trust and obedience - the world will especially keep their eyes on you when you are going through testing and trials to wait for your response...will it be "Why me?" or "Use me!" Adversity will always destroy the superficial faith, but it will have the opposite effect on deep rooted faith in that it strengthens and causes the roots to just dig deeper into God to withstand the storms. God allowed these "curses" to rock Job, but He would not allow a finger to be laid on him. God already knew Satan's decision when He said, "Have you considered my servant Job," and in a sense offered him up knowing Job's love, devotion, and faith in Him was strong, and would ultimately bring Him glory. Job proved this in his response to hearing one loss after another "he fell to the ground and WORSHIPPED!" even in a time of overwhelming grief...he STILL acknowledged Gods sovereignty, Job loved God for who He is NOT what He gives...though Job had everything he counted it all as loss. "Naked I came into the world - naked I will return...The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; Blessed be the name of the Lord" Job recognized all was the Lord's and not once did Job sin or charge God with any wrong done to him. Satan did not give up, but kept approaching God determined to prove God wrong and Job weak. God commended Job for maintaining his integrity...what a wonderful honor! We DAILY need to maintain our integrity as Christian men and women...integrity is worth far more in this world than any material wealth we can obtain. It is a person of integrity that walks SECURELY...integrity will guide you. Bloodthirsty men HATE a man of integrity. Satan uses Gods allowances to cause us to doubt, when God desires them to cause us to cling, for He never leaves us nor forsakes us. Job shows a broader perspective going beyond himself, allowing his faith to grow. Do we look at our present trials as weighty burdens or do we look at them as strengthening challenges? I have been on both sides of the fence and I can tell you I hope that I can always look at my trials as Job did...circumstances God willed to put in my path to make me stronger and to bring my Father glory. The deeper our relationship with the Lord goes the closer we get to the fire and constantly seem to be refined. God does not forget to reveal to us Job's humanity in his story...he struggled greatly emotionally, physically, and spiritually. His anguish and misery went deeper than any of us may ever know and I pray that we never will have to. We should never underestimate our vulnerability during times of suffering and pain - HOLD TIGHT to your faith, even when it seems you have not a glimpse of relief in the horizon...Set your eyes on Jesus - your only hope. Job was in extreme physical pain on top of dealing with and mourning the loss of his family...I would think anyone in his position would just want to die and go to glory (just as he was advised to by his loved ones "curse God and die"...let go...stop fighting) And I can say there have been moments in my life during struggles, trials, and pain I have just cried out to be with my Father...we are human! However, Gods plan is greater and He sees something great ahead that we do not yet know of. HIS WAYS ARE HIGHER...He uses moments like these to draw us back to the basics of our faith. We all can lose perspective at times when our present situation or circumstance feels so great. REMEMBER: trials and times of grief, whether temporary or enduring, DO NOT destroy our real purpose in life! To serve and honor God. It is not based on what we feel, but on the one reality NO ONE CAN TAKE AWAY GODS LOVE FOR YOU! For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39 God's will always ends in blessings

Woman at the Well

I am so thirsty it consumes my body...all I can think about is that cool refreshing drink running past my lips And yet as I have the water cupped in my hands I refrain for a moment caught by my own reflection Disgust wins over my bodily necessity of thirst...I cannot get myself to drink this water that seems so foul...tarnished - how could I? My hands are unclean and the reflection of my heart is far from pure...God knows the things I have done ..."and so do I" comes a gentle whisper in the wind Startled I look up to see a man walking towards the well, but no where close enough for him to have spoken to me so clearly Brought back to reality I begin to fill my bucket with water from the well...I want to get out of here quickly that man is clearly a Jew and should not have to be present near a Samaritan woman like me "Give Me a drink." He says wearily as he draws near Why is he talking to me...can't he see what kind of woman I am. "How is it that You, being a Jew, ask a drink from me, a Samaritan woman? "If you knew the gift of God, and who it is who says to you, 'Give Me a drink', you would have asked Him, and He would have given you living water." What is this man talking about!? "Living Water" "Sir, You have nothing to draw with, and the well is deep. Where then do You get this 'living water'? Are you greater than our father Jacob, who gave us this well, and drank from it himself, as well as his sons and his livestock?" "Whoever drinks of this water will thirst again, but whoever drinks of the water I shall give him will never thirst. But the water that I shall give him will become in him a fountain of water springing up into everlasting life." I wish this were true - to never be consumed by thirst again...to give up this journey by just taking this one drink "Sir, give me this water, that I may not thirst, nor come here to draw." I am so thirsty "Go, call your husband, and come here?" My heart skips a beat...I feel all the blood rush to my head and my cheeks begin to warm...and I hear myself saying... "I have no husband" "You have well said, 'I have no husband', for you have had five husbands, and the one whom you now have is not your husband; in that you spoke truly." How could he know!? My disgrace, my shame, is it that clearly written over me? A woman unclean - tossed around in the waves I chose to swim in...my own doing. A life I have regretted over and over, and yet I just went deeper and deeper - drowning...suffocating in my own filth - so far gone no one could save me...But this man...there is something different about this man and I am drawn to him in a way I have never been drawn before. His eyes pierce right into my heart, and yet there is no tone of prejudice in his voice...could he be...? "Sir, I perceive that You are a prophet. Our fathers worshiped on this mountain, and You Jews say that in Jerusalem is the place where one ought to worship." "Woman, believe Me, the hour is coming when you will neither on this mountain, nor in Jerusalem, worship the Father. You worship what you do not know; we know what we worship, for salvation is of the Jews. But the hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth; for the Father is seeking such to worship Him. God is Spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth." Is this man speaking of freedom? Freedom that all may worship God...the Jews talk of a man - a man I too hope for...a Messiah "I know that Messiah is coming, who is called Christ. When He comes, He will tell us all things." "I who speak to you am He." A chill runs up my back and my heart leaps in my chest. My Messiah is with me and I am with my Messiah! This man who truly knows me and loves me still. He has given me life. He has made me pure. I am refreshed and have been washed over by streams of living water no longer to be tossed to and fro in the waves of men. I am set free. I am FREE! ...I must go...go tell everyone I know...My Messiah Lives!!! ~A woman at the well scarred and bruised made whole and beautiful in the sight of the Lord...so are YOU - no matter what your past no matter what your hurt...YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL and YOU ARE HIS

Unveiled Love - Ruth (Part 4)

A godly relationship flourishes through prayer...and this is exactly where this final part of Ruth's story starts...We see Naomi's heart for Ruth and Boaz because the Lord had placed them there, so that Naomi would pray for, support, and encourage them in godly wisdom. The most beautiful prayers I have heard are ones that have not been rushed, but have taken time to express the deepest intimacy's of thought. Naomi, Ruth, and Boaz took their time in prayer seeking God's will. These events played out in God's perfect timing - Boaz had time to notice Ruth's virtues and integrity and Ruth has time to respect and admire Boaz. A good reputation comes from a God-honoring character and your kindness towards everyone around you. Naomi was there to give Ruth that extra nudge she needed...Now Naomi did this with full confidence in the Lord's guiding. We as Christian women need to be very careful in this area. Many of us are guilty of putting false ideas into our friends minds of men around them...yes it may be motivated in that you want to see your friend happy, but a lot of time it may do more harm than good. Sometimes we choose to listen more to what our girl friends have to say about who you think is "Mr. Perfect (at the time)" than what the Lord has to say because you know your friend will tell you exactly what you want to hear, which often times leads us down a rabbit trail of thoughts most of the time concluding at the altar picturing yourself in a white dress and attaching "his" last name to the end of yours...that is a dangerous game of false fantasies. Be careful who you listen to and try to discern gossip from wisdom. In Ruth's case Naomi was speaking from wisdom. It is very profitable to take and heed wisdom from godly counsel. There is so much to learn from the older saints. Ruth trusted Naomi’s judgment and advice and followed in it. Boaz was Ruth's Kinsman-Redeemer. As we saw how God provided for the poor and widow's under the Law by gleaning God also provided for the widow's and the family line through the Kinsman-Redeemer. Naomi had told Ruth that she was to go wash herself, put on her best garments, and go down to the threshing floor where Boaz slept. Ruth made herself even more lovely than she already had shown herself to be in humility and vulnerability before the feet of her lord. Uncovering his feet was an ancient Near Eastern custom of a marriage proposal. That is as far as Ruth was instructed to go and from their had to wait and trust in God's leading. I can only imagine the God given boldness this woman needed. Her action took great risk...if anyone saw her it would ruin her reputation and his. I imagine with each step it took more effort than the last and with each step her heart beat harder to the point it felt like it would paralyze her...she had come too far to turn back...and I am sure her trembling made it all the more a reality of what she was about to do. Ruth placed herself as a servant at his feet. Boaz awoke and was startled by this young woman that lay at his feet, but when Ruth told him who she was and who he was to her, Boaz responded in warmth. He said, “Blessed are you of the LORD, my daughter! For you have shown more kindness at the end than at the beginning, in that you did not go after young men whether poor or rich. And now, my daughter, do not fear. I will do for you all that you request, for all the people of the town know that you are a virtuous woman.” Boaz needed strength just as much as Ruth - here is a man well along in years who has never been married nor seemed to have any prospects and was now being offered marriage from a lovely, honorable, young woman - God knew his heart...this was his prize of years of waiting and faithfulness. I wonder what God spoke to Boaz in those quiet hours when he felt so lonely longing for companionship. I wonder if He whispered promises of blessings to come... Boaz expressed the character of Christ in this, he saw Ruth as pure and holy. Love conquers all things and in Boaz case it conquered pride. Boaz was a well known man in the city and to take on a young foreign widow as his wife could have caused there to be gossip. He had much to lose and not much to gain in this situation in the worlds eyes, but he was righteous. Boaz focused on Ruth’s virtuous qualities and God honored him. Both Ruth and Boaz showed each other such kindness and I believe are a wonderful example of 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." Not only did Boaz want to accept Ruth and have her as his wife, but he fought for her as well. You see there was someone closer in relation to Naomi than himself and by law Boaz had to go to him first because he was the next in line to take Ruth as his wife. Boaz explained this to Ruth and told her to rest, assuring her he would do everything in his power to make sure she would be okay. Boaz sent her home with six ephahs of barley, proving he already desired to be Ruth’s provider. What a man! Ladies, if there is a quality you want to seek in a man it is a man that will fight for you no matter what the circumstances...I have known of too many hearts that have been broken because men have not stepped up to the plate to fight for the women they say they are committed to...and let me tell you love YOU ARE WORTH FIGHTING FOR! May no one ever make you feel otherwise. You are precious in His sight. Boaz continued in obedience to Gods law even though the hope of his longing and answered prayers was at his fingertips he maintained godliness and faithfulness. Jehovah-Tsidkenu "The Lord our Righteousness". Boaz knew and trusted in Gods sovereignty more than in his own human strength or effort. AS GOD WILLS...He gives wisdom in every circumstance. Waiting is the hardest thing to do sometimes, especially in a situation like Ruth had. I know that if it were me I would be uneasily pacing and anxiously waiting. Naomi again in her wisdom encouraged Ruth to sit still because she knew Boaz was going to not rest until he concluded all the matters of the day. I am sure Naomi was feeling almost or just as much anxiousness as Ruth was, but her response was to turn to the Lord. What a beautiful picture I see, I picture Naomi and Ruth sitting together and bringing everything before the Lord in prayer, and as they were praying God was working! God puts the desires of His heart in our hearts. Though Ruth and Boaz may have been concerned God had already reserved each heart for the other, and what God reserves no man can touch. Boaz had gone to the city gate and before the council of ten men announced that he hoped to buy Ruth’s inheritance and take her as his wife. Boaz also cleverly offered the closest relative to Naomi, what he could acquire. However, he only presented half of the information at first then twisted it in his own favor. The closest relative did not want to complicate his inheritance by marrying a widow and so he gave it over to Boaz. Boaz’s heart must have almost lept out of his chest, though he trusted in God, and knew in his heart Ruth would be his wife, he did not have full assurance until that moment when the shoe was passed. Not only did Boaz rejoice, but also all the witnesses rejoiced with him, and they prayed a blessing over his marriage and household. “So Boaz took Ruth and she became his wife; and when he went in to her, the LORD gave her conception, and she bore a son.” God brought such blessings out of tragedy to this household. From Ruth’s line came King David (she was his great grandmother). The events recorded in Ruth were all in part of God’s preparation for the birth of David and even more so of Jesus. God can use every circumstance to build His kingdom. Ruth did not know her life was serving and bringing God glory for a larger purpose. Neither do we know how God is using our lives for a greater purpose than what we see right now. We are given choices and opportunities in this life and we need to respond to them with an eternal mindset. God desires for you to have the very best. His expectations will surprise you and far exceed your own...but the price of it will be patience, faith, and trust. SIT STILL. My prayer for all of us is that the Lord be molding us into the women intended for those men...into the wives who will add to our (future) husbands crown. May we be filled with unconditional wholehearted love for them. Love that exceeds what we are capable of giving in our human ability...love that comes from and is sourced through Christ alone. Amen! In His Love, Anna

A matter of the heart - Ruth (Part 3)

A man of great godly character, who acknowledges the Lord in all things, and daily seeks His will are all things greatly to be esteemed…If this was only the norm, not only in a man, but also in a woman. We find these qualities in Boaz. This was a man who was known for his love for God…Oh if only we were all to be known for that! In fact Boaz’s name itself means “In His strength”, which I believe quite suited this man we see in the book of Ruth. Not only did Boaz exemplify godliness, but also diligence and faithfulness. Boaz saw his blessings no matter big or small and always sought to see the best in people. This was a man who took nothing for granted and in all respects gave it back in praise and offering to the Lord. Though Boaz owned and oversaw his fields, he too was a faithful worker. He enjoyed being part of the harvest and involved in his workers lives, always showing love, care, and compassion to all that surrounded him. Here was a master that served his workers! Boaz knew his workers and the man he was I wouldn’t be surprised if he knew them by name. I believe this is why Boaz took notice of Ruth – a woman he didn’t know working/gleaning from his field.

Boaz and Ruth both found contentment in God in their singleness – knowing that time was set aside according to God’s will…Boaz’s heart remained reserved. Yes ladies…there is such thing as a man – not a boy, who has kept his way in the ways of the Lord, is established and confident of his future because it is hidden in Christ, and most importantly has reserved his heart for the woman the Lord leads him to. Though we may find them far and few between I am sure there are men that feel the same way about finding godly women. Do not lower your standards! The Lord will give you the desires of your heart, because if you are walking in His will your desires are in actuality His desires that He has placed in your heart to fulfill His will! Does that make sense? So if they are His desires and His expectations for your life far exceed your own then why would you even think of lowering that standard?!…do not let it be because of impatience, but let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing! (James 1:4) This story is a wonderful example of that!

Ladies love truly does comes softly. Boaz was most likely the first person to show Ruth true kindness since she had been in Bethlehem. It was this kindness that went straight to Ruth’s heart. Boaz was more than twice Ruth’s age and I am sure at some point he questioned how a woman like her would even look at a man like him in such a way. Even so, Boaz insured Ruth’s safety every step of the way and took it upon himself to be her protector. Boaz met and exceeding Ruth’s needs by giving her a double portion… (which she put away and kept for Naomi). Boaz desired to provide for Ruth, by intentionally asking his workers to drop heads of barley for her and for them not to give her a hard time. “Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.” (Matt. 25:40) Because Boaz loved those who belonged in his care, he desired them to act in a way of honor, which he set as an example.

Sadly a lot of young women’s hearts aren’t often won by a man’s character. We live in a society that is very superficial and shallow, based on the outward. “Do not consider his appearance or his height… The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” (1 Sam. 16:7) Shouldn’t we also? Ladies you might be praying for God to bring your future husband into your life, and He might already very well have, but you are not looking at what is below the surface. It is amazing how when you see a mans heart it can transform his attractiveness. You can see an amazingly physically attractive man and after talking to him for only a few minutes can be transformed into one of the ugliest characters you have ever met. The same is that of the simple looking man who's heart is set on God – but to you the most handsome man you have ever met.

God was the center of this intimate communication between Boaz and Ruth because it was a matter of the heart. Let Him be the center for you as well...



Just wait there is so much more to come!